Using Energetics to Break the Abused-Abuser Cycle
“Hurt-people hurt people.” You’ve probably heard this saying at some point in your life. It’s a saying that helps us to have compassion for those who have offended us in some way. But can we dissect it in terms of energy?
Studies of energy have revealed to us that the laws of karma and attraction prove that what energy we put out into the world comes back to us. So when we hurt another person, hurt will come back, explaining why hurt-people hurt people.
When we don’t have awareness of our actions and emotions or learn to take responsibility for our behaviors we end up perpetuating the same energy that was done unto us. Energy can’t be created or destroyed, right? BUT it can be transmuted.
So in order to not become the victimizer after being the victim, you need to transmute the energy that was inflicted upon you.
For example, how often do we hear cases of abuse where the perpetrator was a victim of abuse themselves?
An article in The Guardian states that “children who are abused are much more likely to become adults who abuse (between 30% and 40% of people who are abused as children go on to become abusers themselves).”
So what’s happening here? We can talk about the psychology of it all, but let’s get down into the energetics of it all.
ENERGETICS OF ABUSE
The energy that was “given” to the child, which would generally be anger and shame, attaches to the child. The child can either learn to transmute the energy or the energy will be expressed from the child, often in the similar situation of the child growing up into an adult, having children and then abusing them.
How many times have we heard people want to break the abuse cycle but end up perpetuating it? It’s not out of them wanting to inflict harm on their children, they are just unaware of how energy works. So while it’s helpful to have awareness about the cycle abuse can have on a person, what’s even more helpful is understanding the energy behind it. Once we understand energy, we can alchemize what comes to us into a higher vibration. And also not take things so personally.
Dr. David Hawkin’s Map of Consciousness shows us that shame is the lowest vibration you can have, meaning, the lowest energy form.
IMAGE: https://www.nondualitylife.com/levels-of-consciousness
We know that abuse is filled with shame, and therefore, vibrates at the lowest level of consciousness.
This brings us to a very interesting question:
How do we transmute energy?
There are many ways to transmute energy. A few of my personal favorites and daily practices include: Mindfulness, Meditation, Reiki, Yin Yoga, Music, and Prayer. (You can find access to meditations and yoga through our website.)
Energy can also be transmuted through creativity.
Finding a hobby or something that brings you joy can help shift your focus and energy. Anger or shame can explode outwards towards others, leading to yelling and belittling and abuse of others, or turn inwards, leading to harmful soothing behaviors, such as addictions and abuse of ourselves. In those moments that you feel anger or shame arise, having the option of an artistic outlet can be critical in not perpetrating the cycle of abuse or harm.
If you act out the energy, you’ve released it and it will eventually come back to you. You must transmute it to ensure that your output is one that you desire to be returned.
A good rule of thumb before you speak or take action is: Do I want this energy to be returned?
If the answer is no, then find a way to give energy that you want. If that means taking a step back from the situation and going to meditate or pray or dance, and then once you feel better, coming back to resume a conversation, then let that be your Act of Courage (see below). It’s essentially the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Because, due to the laws of energy, that’s how you will be treated.
It takes a lot of energy to transmute Shame to Inner Love, as it has a 480 energetic differential. But you’ll see from the above chart that Courage is closer—only 180 differential. So how can we do Acts of Courage to move away from the Victim/Abuser Consciousness range and into Self-Empowerment?
One option is to regularly go to therapy and open up to your therapist about your past and your feelings about it. Since abuse stems from shame, you’ll be feeling the shame, but remember, it’s not yours, it was given to you and you need to transmute it. It takes a lot of courage to speak about a past that’s filled with a lot of shame. But you’ll see from the Map of Consciousness, that taking this step will raise that energy from Shame to Courage.
It’s important to note that there are many steps that need to be taken along the way to permanently transition from one level to another. We can’t just jump from one vibration to the other and expect to stay there immediately. There’s years and years of energetic attachments that have built up that need to be transmuted and transformed into a higher vibration. Also, because of its denser nature, the physical reality will be slower to reflect the massive energetic shifts happening on the inside.
This is why it’s so important to have patience. Trust that the inner work you’re doing will pay off. It just won’t be immediate. But it will be worth it.
Healing from the past
An understanding of energetics could change your life. Knowing that energy comes and goes can provide relief, especially to those memories we hold that are filled with shame. Energy isn’t yours. You didn’t create it. But you did attract it. Now, this doesn’t mean that as a child it was your fault if you were abused, it just means that the energy attracted to you and until you transmute it, it will continue. You will stay in the cycle and you’ll continue to live in the lower frequencies, and the choices you make that perpetuate the energy, will be your responsibility.
By moving your behaviors, emotions, and thoughts to a higher level of consciousness you can transmute the lower patterns and sustain a pattern of higher vibration.
If you have a history of abuse, it’s going to take a lot of energy and effort to move permanently into a higher state of vibration. But it’s possible. I promise.
I lived in the vibration of Shame for many years. I attracted in experiences and people that would perpetuate the feeling of shame and it wasn’t until I started recovering and seeking help, actively making choices that raised my vibration that I was able to move from the lower consciousnesses to the higher ones.
I’ve made a list of things you can do to actively raise your vibration. Do your best to do a few of these every day to keep your vibration high. We live in the 3rd dimension, so the energies are naturally denser, and collectively, we’re currently vibrating very low so entropy will try to pull you down. Remember this when it sometimes feels like an uphill battle to rise above. However, with effort and love, you can move into a higher state and you will help the collective to vibrate higher and the world around us will shift.
So if you choose to join me in a commitment to higher living, I thank you.
HIGHER LIVING ACTIVITIES:
Journal (become aware of your thoughts and potentially harmful thought patterns)
Prayer (ask from help and stay humble)
Therapy (be honest and have someone coach you through difficult experiences and memories)
Meditation
Breathwork
Yoga
High Vibe Music & Solfeggio Frequencies (listen to music that is designed to raise your vibration)
Volunteer (think of others and release selfish tendencies)
Sing, Dance, Play (get in touch with your creativity and inner child)
